Straight outta the 90s, yo.

Ok, ladies and gents, in keeping with this week's theme of all-things-ugly, I am about to show you the transformation of what very well may be the ugliest clock that was ever made by human hands.

Just how ugly, you ask? Well, my fine friends, take a gander...

***Editor's note: Just so you know, I usually forget to do before pics until I've already started my project. I can be very impulsive. Don't be hatin'.

I found this little beauty at the Sally Ann on Saturday. I can see her now, up on the mantle of a lovely young married couple circa 1991. The husband asks his new wife for the time as he adjusts his parachute pants. She casually looks up from The Cosby Show as she runs her pick through her spiral-permed hair and lets him know it's exactly half-past seven. Almost time for Blossom.

Ahh. Wedded bliss.

Yes, this little clock was once a prized accent piece. I found it on a shelf of junk for $3.50.

But never fear...I had a plan for this poor little clock! This little lady had a date with scrappy destiny...behold!


So now you're either thinking, "Hey, I have a clock like that (though I'd never admit it to another living soul)" or "Hey, she finished this clock just after noon! How very organized and domestic!" or "Hey, she finished this in the middle of the night! This chick has no life!"

No, I will not tell you which of those is actually true.

But, just in case you were wondering, here's how it went down...


First step: pry off numbers. Discard. These are ugly and you should not keep these. I see you trying to sneak them into your stash. "But maybe I'll use them..." Don't you dare! I said discard. Discard!

Oh, and take off the clock parts, too.
Sand it down a little. Take out your frustrations. Don't think of it as punishment for being an ugly clock. Think of it as a little incentive to never be so ugly again.
Paint her up using a concoction of craft-paint colours to make something that looks like antique white. Break out the fresh bottle of antique white craft paint that you keep on hand for just such an occasion, pat yourself on the back for being so very organized, and paint that baby up. It doesn't have to be perfect, because then, you'll dry-brush it a little with brown paint, and then take your sandpaper to the edges a little.
Measure and cut the paper you'll use for your background, then decorate her all nice and lovely. I used my Cricut and Sure Cuts a Lot, some Stampin' Up chipboard, some random buttons and floss, ink and paint.
Adhere it to the last remaining ugly portion of the clock. I used spray adhesive in the middle and glue dots around the edges to ensure that the ugly bits would never again see the light of day. Slide in one edge of the paper first so it's lined up with the ...uhhh.... outer molding thingy. Then slowly lower the paper into the ...uhhh... inner non-molding part.
Here's what you have so far. Now, to reattach the clocky parts.
Now, here's where it gets technical. You may want to get a pencil and paper for this part. Are you ready? Ok. Hold the clock up to a light, and (you still with me?) wherever you see the light shining through, poke your pokey tool through the paper.

Whew. This explanation is exhausting. Wasn't sure I was going to make it through that last one. Good thing I had breakfast this morning.Ok, so now, you're ready to reassemble the clockworks. It helps if you lay them out on your table in the order you took them off the clock so you don't end up with a Wonderland clock that moves backwards and sends you on a random journey through time or something.

On second thought, please try that. That sounds way cooler than this clock.

When you're done, you'll have a clock fit to give your fabulous scrappy friend Adrienne on her birthday. (Alas, it won't send her through the looking-glass, but at least you won't be giving her a clock fit for the Golden Girls' mantle.)

If you'd like to see some more ancient-relics-turned-gloriously-modern-works-of-art, check out Someday Crafts' "Whatever Goes Wednesday" link party! I'm lucky number 113 - score! I'm also linking to Domestically Speaking's Power of Paint Party, Reinvented's Trash to Treasure Tuesday Blue Cricket Design's Show and Tell, and DIY Day with Stella and Dot.

Head on over to see what tonnes of crafty peeps have been working on. You should link-up, too!

And while you're at it...you could stop by Adrienne's blog and wish her a happy belated birthday! :)