Oh wait...did I say candy-coated shell? I meant to say poorly-painted-this-awesome-baby-poo-colour shell.
And not only was it an awful colour, but as you can see, the paint was all flaky. As in, chunks-come-off-all-the-time, Pillsbury-pie-crust, told-me-she'd-meet-me-at-the-mall-but-then-that-trollop-went-on-a-date-instead flaky.
So then we were having company. And I thought to myself, "Self? You surely should fix this fugly specimen before introducing it to your friends."
And then I chuckled for talking to myself that way. I mean, let's get serious here. I don't call myself "Self". I call myself "Queen Consuela of Craftopia."
But I digress.
Anyway, I figured I couldn't possibly make it any uglier. So, I took a sander to it...
This paint came off way too easily. Seriously. It's like I did the original paint job myself.
Anyway, I had neither paint nor time to paint (everyone was about to show up, remember?). So, I sanded off the flaky parts and then sanded a little more for good measure and then scuffed up the edges and then put down the sander because the whole process of de-fuglifying was starting to make me a little lightheaded.
Then, I mixed a few tablespoons of acrylic craft paint in teddy-bear brown with a few tablespoons of water and glopped the mess onto the table with a rag. I rubbed it all over, especially in the sanded areas, let it dry for a few minutes, and then topped it all off with a coat of spray sealer I had lying around.
Now of course, it does help that my living room has low light. But, it's better, right?
Total elapsed time: 10 minutes. Total effort: minimal. Total cost: free. Total reduction of ugly: infinite.