5 fibs and a truth

So Mandi from Tidbits from the Tremaynes is one of the funniest bloggers I've ever come across. Plus she's super inspiring and wickedly creative. Best of all, she makes Wayne's World references.

Clearly, she's my virtual BFF.

Go check her out, now. Now, I say!

So she gave me this:

(Thanks, Mandi!)

And now I have to give 5 fibs and a truth, and it's up to you to decide what's what. Everybody ready?

1. I once got a ticket for passing a clearly-marked Oregon state trooper. Yes, I saw he was a state trooper before I did it. No, it was not one of my more intelligent moments.

2. I am probably the only person in the world to have seen the Backstreet Boys, Eminem, Keith Urban, Hole, ZZ Top, and Weird Al Yankovic in concert. "Eclectic" is an understatement.

3. Though I'm not at all Hungarian, I grew up in a heavily-Hungarian area and took Hungarian Immersion and Hungarian as a second language from Kindergarten to grade 12. This came in particularly handy when I had to tell a particularly belligerent restaurant patron that no, you cannot have garlic bread without the garlic, and please stop shaking the pepper shaker at me, you odd little man.

4. One time I was in a plane that nearly crashed. I didn't know what was going on, so when the whole plane shook and the everything hit the ceiling, I was so nervous that I started giggling. Turns out, the pre-9/11 curtain that enclosed the cock-pit swung back during the turbulence and other passengers saw us headed for the ground. Come to think of it, they probably didn't appreciate the teenager giggling at the back of the plane. Huh.

5. A few years back, I went on a week-long hike through the Valhalla mountains in British Columbia. Fancying myself a real outdoorsman, I used my compass and left the main trail. It rained the whole time. While traversing a huge glacial moraine, I slipped and wedged my leg between two wet boulders, breaking it severely. Because I was no longer on trail I'd mapped out for my family, I had to keep going, or risk being eaten by a grizzly bear or a sasquatch or something, so I splinted my leg and kept walking...uphill...for miles and miles. When I was three days late arriving home, Search and Rescue was called out. Luckily, in the midst of dense fog, I'd managed to hear a child calling out to hear the sound of his own voice from a ranger station near the top of a mountain. I called back, and I followed his voice to the station, where they radioed for help and I was picked up in a helicopter. I was in a walking cast for weeks, but glad to be safely home.

6. My pet peeves include rudeness, gum anywhere other than in the garbage can or in someone's mouth, and feet. Not feet as in hooves, but feet as in 12 inches. I go metric all the way, baby.

Ok - any guesses?

I'm passing along this Creative Blogger award to...

• Adrienne, the woman of a thousand brilliant ideas, from Happenscraps, Etc.
• Jennifer, the woman I am convinced never makes a scrapbook page that is anything less than scrappy perfection, from Scrapping Daze
• Susan, a new blogger who inspired me this morning with the most adorable little crocheted flowers, from My Paper Passion

(Thanks for inspiring me to be creative, Mandi, Adrienne, Jennifer, and Susan!)

Ignore the photo-pollution. This post is about an end table, not my poor housekeeping.

We have this little end table in our living room.

See it peeking out there, beside the chair?
Ok, so it's actually a nightstand. But it holds DVDs, so whatever. If Martha Stewart ever comes over I'll be so sure to hold my head in shame.

Now it looks like this!
***Editor's Note: There's a lot of picture-pollution in this post. As in, stuff in the picture that really shouldn't be there. Case in point, the cord and dog bed above. If Martha Stewart ever reads my blog I'll be so sure to hold my head in shame.

You see, I hated this stupid thing. It's beat up. It's an eyesore. It doesn't match anything else in the room. It slept with my boyfriend.
Well, all except that last one.

So I took it outside.

I sanded it.

I spray painted it with some leftover stuff.

I scuffed up the edges.

I was so excited I forgot to put down a drop cloth.
Oops.

And then I added new knobs from Mee-Kayl's at a buck and half a pop.
And now?

A matching, dent-hiding, interestingly-knobbed, wouldn't-dare-to-even-look-at-my-boyfriend end table.
Whatcha think?

Linkin' up, cause this piece o' junk is pretty funky, if I do say so myself.

I call this one, "I Think the Graphics Fairy is my Fairy Godmother".

Seriously.

'Cause take a look at what she helped me make.
I call this one, "Nest+Walt Whitman=Drool".

The quotation reads, "I believe a leaf of grass is no less that the journey-work of the stars."

But of course, you'd know that if I knew how to make Publisher save the whole works as a picture. You know. With the quote attached.

So you'll just have to take my word for it.

Speaking of home decor, one of these things is not like the other:
I call this one, "Maybe I'll blend!"

Pile o' crap turned necklace organizer

See this pile o' crap? Two canvases from Valoo Villahge at $4.99 a pop, felt leftovers, scrap paper (both "un-needed" and "of the scrapbooking variety"), a nearly-empty bottle of ModPodge, some fabric glue that I never use, and (the only non-crap item) some gorgeous Moda newsprint fabric I got for a steal from Sew Dang Cute a while back.
I turned it into this:
And then I hung my otherwise unworn, forgotten, tangled-into-a-knot-only-a-small-child-with-incredible-manual-dexterity-could-unravel necklaces on it.

How? Oh, I am so glad you asked.

1. You have to find yourself two of the ugliest canvases you've ever seen. The uglier the better. It will be that much more satisfying when you cover them up. The cheaper the better, as there's no sense using an expensive canvas that you're only going to cover up.

2. Then, spread some fabric glue in a haphazard manner and cover that sucker with leftover felt from all of those felt projects you thought you were going to make because they seemed like a good idea at the time and felt is so cheap but you didn't ever get to it so now it just takes up space in your drawer and every time you look at it, you think "curses, you useless felt."

Oh wait...that's just me?3. Pat yourself on the back for already making the world a little less ugly.

***Editor's note: My apologies to any of you who may have this canvas in your home. I'm sure you have a good reason for it. Sayyyy...I've got a great little project for you! See step 1 above.

4. Spread the fabric over the canvas making sure it's straight, then flip it over and start staple-gunning that sucker. This is where you get to punish that canvas for being so ugly. It's like a voodoo-doll for fugly.
5. Reassure yourself that un-stapled staples are not a result of your absurdly-weak arms, but rather a function of this clearly less-than-adequate staple gun.
Et voila!
6. Find a design on your Cricut or other such cutting device and cut that baby out. Preferably, cut it from paper you'll never use, like that stuff that comes pre-loaded in your scrapbooks, like so:
***Editor's note: My apologies to the designer of this branch and the birds; I downloaded these so long ago that I honestly don't know where they came from. If you happen to know, please pass it along so that I can give credit where credit is due!

7. Add the birds, then hang.
8. Stick some pins in the top being sure to go through the felt and hang your necklaces or shoelaces or bolo-ties from it. (Hey, who am I to judge?)
9. And if you're incredibly fickle like me, relish in the fact that you can always remove the pins and use it as wall art. Incredibly awesome wall art.

Just sayin'.

Favourite! Like! Adore! Swoon!

Seriously, people. I was taking photos like a mad woman as soon as I had it up on the wall.

And then my camera died. Curses!

But, finally, the battery is charged, and now I get to share with you a project two years in the making.

Here she is...my preeeeeeciousssssssss... (what's the html code for "creepy Gollum voice"?)

So, this is a combination of two deep and dark desires: to find/create a very large piece of art that would more substantially decorate my otherwise-boring living room wall, and to use this funky window thingy that I found at the eco-center 2 years ago and have been carting around ever since.

Now, I've taken some pictures of the process, but listen up. If we're going to be friends, you need to know that I'm hasty and impetuous and usually forget to take pictures of crucial things. Like "Befores". And "Durings". And people who say, "Take a picture. It will last longer," when they catch me staring.

Ok?

Ok.

So. here's the closest thing I have to a "Before." The frame thingy is, apparently, a lightweight grid-frame that would be put over glass to make it look like it has panes. Or "pains", if it's splintery.
I was so excited to discover that this gorgeous Basic Grey "Pyrus" paper line matches the colours in the house we rent. I'm talking excited. With a capital "Eeek".

I cut my papers down to 9.5"x11.5" to allow for a little overhang for each "window". Then, I laid them out over the grid to find a layout that I liked.

I printed some of my favourite photos of us and the critters on my printer, and then mounted them on larger scrap white paper, as they printed 8.5"x11".
I added some quotations I love printed onto more Pyrus paper.
Then I used a $1 role of tacky tape from Ye Olde Dollar Shoppe around the edges, and mounted each piece.
So here's the wall before. Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain! Errr...I mean, to the clutter on the side table (which also got a make-over today. The table, not the clutter. Post to come.)

Boring, right? A total snooze-fest.

ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....Wha? Wait, what were we talking about?

Oh, right.

So I grabbed him by his big fat head and said. "Look man, I'm not going to jail for you, or anybody!"

Oh, wait...uhhh, wrong story. Hehe...he.

Now, this frame thingy doesn't have a hanger on it. And I didn't have any hanger thingys lying around. Good thing I'm resourceful...
...because I ripped this sucker off the back of another picture frame that had a spare.

So here it is!

Doesn't that just look so much more proportional than that wright-iron candleholder?
In case you're wondering (gosh, you're nosy!) here's one of the quotations:
...and here's the other:
Sigh. I think I'm going to go look at it again.

And it cost me next to nothing. Around $10 worth of paper, plus the frame at $5, and then some scrap paper and printer ink.

Seriously, people. Favourite. Project. Ever. (What's the html code for "swoon"?)

I've been thinkin'. No, I'm not kidding. Stop laughing, you.

So I have this layout to share.
It's based on Sketch #119 at Creative Scrappers.

And as I was putting together this layout, I was thinkin' to myself, "Self? You are hungry. You should have had that extra soup at lunch. Plus also? If only there was a way to share this layout beyond your own blog, and also have a little pow-wow with some fellow scrappers. Would that not be the pinnacle of online scrappy goodness, Self? By the way, you look great today."

So that got me thinking. It went something like this:

"Self? What if you could host one of those fun link-parties that you get so excited to link up to when you've done something recipe- or project-related. It'd be fun to have one for scrapbooking. I wonder if anyone else has thought of this? Ouch, my back hurts. I probably shouldn't have tried to move that anvil from the shed last night, but that's the price you pay for moonlighting as a blacksmith. On the plus side, if Wile E. Coyote ever shows up at my door, I'll be prepared.

"I don't think I'd want to use that McLinky link-up thingy, though. The Scottish are getting all the attention in the link-up world. Maybe I can use a Linkish Von Linkerstein. I hear scrapbooking is big in Germany. Aaack, is that a spider? Ohmigawd, ohmigawd, ohmig...oh, wait, it's just a black ju jube. Mmmm.

"I wonder if anyone would want to link up to my little party? What if I held it and no one linked up? That would be embarassing. At least no one would have to see my shame, though. Maybe I could create some fake blogs and link them up so it looks like people are all-so-excited to scrap-party with me. I could leave comments for myself like, 'Ooooh, Teri, that is the very best layout I have ever seeeeeen!!!!!' and 'Wow, you look great today.'

"Wow, Self. You have sunk to a new low. For shame."

So whaddaya think, peeps? Would you link up with me if I held a Linkish Von Linkerstein scrappy projects link party?

I hope so. Otherwise, I have a tonne of fake blogs to create.

3 birds, 1 stone.

1. I got to scrap this adorable picture of my niece and nephew spontaneously holding hands to walk down a hallway together.

Aaaand, all together now: Awwwwwww.

2. I got to use up some stickers from a previous Paper Poppy kit that aren't typical of my style.

Aaaaand, all together now: Yesssssssss.

Wait, that one's just me? Oh. Uhhhh, right.

3. I created an entry using sketch 121 at Creative Scrappers.

Hoorah! Don't worry. I know that one's mostly just exciting for me.